he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
