it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't deserve a penis
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
