lets start a swedish sibling band together
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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