Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize