I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you had me at cake vodka
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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