so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize