There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
