you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
