You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We're too hungover to prance.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
