Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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