You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
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We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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