Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
