She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
