I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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