First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize