So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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