whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
