Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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