THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
