My sheets look like a crime scene.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize