everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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