Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
