My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
