I heard we made out
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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