So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize