lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
