Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We need to get me chipped asap
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize