i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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