therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
