You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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