Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
