I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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