last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
