I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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