Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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