I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
