non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
