I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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