your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
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You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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