it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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