I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
