I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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