I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
