I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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