I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
so much tequila, so little girl.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize