Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I have demons in me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
