i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
