this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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