oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
