Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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