I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize