I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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