i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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