come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
