:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
