haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you had me at cake vodka
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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