Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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