ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
